Lacking spontaneity

organized - methodical and efficient in arrangement or function
orderly - marked by or adhering to method or system
methodical - characterized by ordered and systematic habits or behavior


These are some words that I can best describe myself. I somehow fear that I am obsessive - compulsive sometimes, but that's just way beyond how I am as a person. I like keeping things in order, I want to plan things out and it would be great if it's ahead of time. It just ruins my day if what's on the day's agenda goes wrong or would have some delays. I've been like this since I was in Elementary. It has gotten worst when I was in High School. I had control of it when I was in College. And now, I already know what I'm doing. Being this way was great for me. And I can say that I am not spontaneous. Nevertheless, I love it, my boss loves it, and I hope the person who I will spend the rest of my life with would learn to love it.  


Everything in my life has been planned out and some alterations could be acceptable if I really want it done.


How's this for a plan?

• Work here for another year and a half to pay off debts and to save some money. (Money for local job applications.)
• Go home and stay for good for 2 years. (Work and get to know "the boyfriend" well.)
• Find a job and keep it for 2 years. (Save money for job applications abroad.)
• Get married at the age of 28? But won't have kids yet. (Hmmm...)
• Apply for a job abroad with hubby. (On a cruise ship or somewhere else?)
• Work abroad for 3 years or more.
• Buy a small house that will fit a family of 4 people.
• Save some money for a small business.
• Go home and decide who will find a stable job and who is going to manage the small business. (If we would a have a business, one of us should still have a stable job.)
• Find job or manage the business?
• Have our first baby at the age of 30? (A second one can be talked through.)
• Live happily ever after. :)

This actually has been on my mind and up to this point, I want to take these seriously into consideration. I haven't told anybody about this. Even the person that I want to be with, the person that I want to do this plans with. I don't want to be like a control freak because I know he might have plans of his own and this will look like I dragged him into this. It's just that it's relieving sometimes that you know what you want to happen with your life and it would be nice if the other half agrees on it completely.

Hope things work out. Anxious. :)