The screaming poet inside me : Retrieved poems Part II

rendezvous

rendezvous in an unexpected place and time
you were there with a smile
i was standing a mile
i sighed
i wondered if i would choose
a single thorn
compaired to a thousand roses
then again
i sighed,,


i swam in a river of tears
no direction
only confusion
now i am setting you free
i have loved you in my darkness
with no condition
you must forget me
there will be no redemption,,


true as your love can be
but destiny did not find it's way
to let us be
so now i am setting you free
maybe in another place and time
we will have another rendezvous
where we can be together
without tears,,


*for you my dear, though everything
is not perfect with you, you will still have a special part in me
05/13/2007

tragedy

nothing.
no one.
scared.
alone.
in a crowd.


sick.
tired.
enough.


snowball.
in a desert sand.
misunderstood.


hidden.
dark.
cold.
cry.
burnt inside.
11/27/2006

damn

damn
i feel so numb
damn
how could you be so blind?
damn
can't you see
we're running out of time?
damn
it's over
we've reached the end of the line,,


i kept running back to you
i was foolish
thinking and wishing
for love and life with you
which i hoped was true,,


damn
i feel so numb
damn
how could you be so blind?
damn
i am broken in two
damn
it's over
there are no tears left to cry
no one for me to hold too,,
11/06/2006

guitar man

mysteries of our love
was left untold
like an unfinished song
kept,
never to unfold,,

wasted chances
of priceless happiness
the rain poured
but we stood still,,

i remember you
when i see no stars
in the sky
i hear your voice
in the back of my mind
your smile appears
when i close my eyes
i could not help myself
and i ask why,,
10/01/2006

morbid

passion of shallow love
surfaced in the mirrors of my soul
grudges of untold insanity
began to unfold
i was never satisfied with words
i sought for deepness
and the mystery of true love
hidden behind a single kiss
that has now become so bold,,

i wept and mourned
for countless heartaches
and failed promises
i was a fool
i found no answers
to my doubts and fears
i guess i never would,,

touch the fire of burden
lurking beneath my core
i burnt inside a fire ball
crying for my stolen soul
love has forsaken me
my eyes are now wide open
in such a cruel world
i walked carelessly
in a path of a long, dark, winding road,,

a banshee awaits at the end of my tunnel
wailing my beckon call,,
08/08/2006

algor mortis

passion is forbidden
forgive me
i sold my soul
never would i sing of love again
this is the end
for false hopes,,

back to being a heart of stone
you can never
make me cry again
love has long been gone,,


it is better to feel empty
than to be full
only with staggering
pain of burns,,
07/14/2006

21

deep solitude
for a soul deprived
from it's hunger
for a love of it's own
i threw a message in a bottle into the ocean
i threw insanity
and the written memories of my past
i will soon move on,,

happiness indeed
is too hard to please
a little bit of it
but soon it will be gone
it wouldn't matter
if you hold on
it won't always stay long,,

i craved for perfection
a masterpiece
love deep and strong
but in the midst of dreaming
i was always a failure
for i realized
that love is just a feeling
and it will,
like it always does,
just pass by,,
07/13/06

ynnek

words undefined
between two worlds intertwined
sitting beside you
with city lights bright
wondering if somehow
our hearts beat alike,,

dreams drifting
with the nusic in my mind
snapping back to
a reality that bites
these thoughts
would never be untied
for there is a heart
waiting for you outside,,

i would dream of you tonight
dancing while candles light
and as i wake up
i would keep these secrets
locked inside
hush now
the key is nowhere to be found,,
06/26/06

blurry

When no one in the world
even tries to save you from sadness
When no one seems to care
what your heart needs for fondness
When no one gives a little time
if you need caress
Find a place where
you will feel cold and darkness,,

Will you be willing to give
everything in your world
to be with that special someone?
What if you are?
yet you are the only one
whose willing to take the risk?,,

Would it not be nice
to stargaze holding someone near?
Would it not be nice
to feel warmth when you are in tears?
Would it not be nice
to find someone whom you have waited for
for years?
Or are you just assuming?
Maybe dreaming,
that they are really there
to take away your fears,,

Upsetting as it may seem
that you think and feel
that someone caught you
from a fall where
you know that nothing's
left of your heart and soul,
and yet after a blink of an eye
they slowly drift away
leaving you broken and alone,,
-blurry-
01/30/2009

sunken garden

The stars are shining bright. So as the lights of the posts in between trees that surrounds a sunken garden. We walked through a vast. We wet our feet as we circle around a field of grass. You got tired and decided to look for something to sit on. As we sat you leaned over. I wrapped my arms around you and kissed your forehead so we won't feel colder. We stayed that way and for a moment i felt like i have longed for you. i mouthed, i love you, carefully whispered so you won't have a clue. I wanted to stay that way forever. But I know that forever is only true in dreams. Savor every moment shared now and just wait for another tomorrow. You then moved so I let you go. I looked at you and asked  myself "does he love me too?" I smiled and kissed you. You smiled and kissed me back too. I was waiting but I am not asking for you to say something. Just anything to make me feel that feel the same as I do. I clung to you again and felt the fear and sadness of loosing you for we may soon part ways. At the same time I felt stupid for I know I was the only one who felt that way. We were silent most of the time. Maybe we were both asking and wondering what, how, and why. Would it be better off this way? Should we just keep our feelings to ourselves and never say anything? Would this be for the best or will this lead to regret? I then decided to ask to go home. We stood and walked past through the field of grass again. He held my hand as we were moving towards the parking lot. I looked down and held his hand tighter wishing that i should not have known him, for now I feel that I'm starting to fall.

for the one I loved before

The moon frowned by 1 o'clock.
It must have felt that i loved you.
It was all coming back.
Uncertain
that's is what i always was.
Now i figured that I still am everytime i see you.
I'm out of luck.//

A star cried by 2 o'clock.
It must have felt my sorrow.
I wished for something that made it feel impossible to grant.
Kisses, embraces, and glances i have borrowed.
It was all there but shallow.
It was only my heart that i followed.//

Will the sun shine by 7 o'clock?
Will it smile for me?
Will it make me crave for more?
More of a new life without thinking of what is in store for tomorrow.//

untitled

The smoke is drifting away
with the thoughts that I have now
I have been thinking of you
and the moments we shared 
that I am trying to forget
It depresses me because I know
that you got through the night again somehow,,

Does it make you happy
when you torture me
every single time?
Do you prove anything more to yourself
when you are inside me?
Is it worth it?
Do you feel sublime?,,

ironic

another night alone
pour myself out
until the sadness is all gone
i played a pantomine
to hide a melancholic world
nonchalant
i smiled and laughed along,,

i thought i was happy
even without someone to call my own
but still it was emptiness
that i felt
i never won,,

it was a wonder that i pondered on
hurt comes first
before happiness dawns,,

-tERe-
10/22/06


heaven

sway with me

you have always 
been my first
true love
young and naive
i lost you
i was left in the
middle of a crowd,,

some say
it was meant to be
but why were we
only given a single chance
to feel fire
beneath a kiss
i say
it was never meant to be,,

i have waited for you
i have always been your angel
i was right here waiting for you
it was hard to set you free
i hid tears 
everytime i see you happy
but time has passed by
i am still here
but now broken
because of all the love 
that i have given
you will always be a part of me
a part of my tragic love story,,

-tERe

superman

a miserable soul
trapped inside
an unbreakable stone
nowhere left to turn
might as well burn
but even fire
could not melt
the pain that i bore
for so long
i have been frozen
in a miserable world,,

i clung to rigid walls
but i still fell
broken and torn
i sought for a way out
but still i ended up
in a puzzle of a horizon
still nowhere to go,,

it felt like forever
i began to loose hope
but as i opened my eyes
i saw him smiling at me
and then i realized
it was never too late
for a hopeless soul,,

-tERe-
08/11/06